I was shocked, confused, and bewildered, as I entered Heaven's door.

Not by the beauty of it all, nor the lights or its decor,

But it was the folks in Heaven who made me sputter and gasp,

The thieves, the liars, the sinners, the alcoholics and the trash.

There stood the kid from seventh grade who swiped my lunch money twice

Next to him was my old neighbor who never said anything nice.

Herb, who I always thought was rotting away in hell

Was sitting pretty on cloud nine, looking incredibly well.

I nudged Jesus, what's the deal?

I would love to hear your take

How'd all these sinners get up here?

God must've made a mistake.

And why is everyone so quiet, so somber, give me a clue?

Hush, child! He said, they're all in shock, 'cause

No one thought they'd be seeing you